"What is a Manjaw?"

Manjaw (alt. - man jaw, man-jaw): when someone who is obviously not a man has an unattractive jawline (square, etc.) causing them to look manish.

And why do I bring this up?

I've had a problem with manjaws for a while now. A long while. Especially when I'm watching TV and some make-up ad comes on, and there are all these models supposedly showing off the oh-so-natural make-up that you can't even see under the warpaint they've caked on and trying to pass off as the actual product of the commercial, and I just can't take my eyes off that jaw.

The Manjaw.

And, yes, I know, I know. You can't judge a book by its cover. You can't judge a non-man by her manjaw.

But really.

And there's more than just one of these models with the insanely square or manish jaw. That's the sad part. It's not just the models, either. It's anyone and everyone I see who thinks they're beautiful when really people just hire them for movies and Google them and follow them on all those social networking media sites to stare at their manjaws. It's hard not to.

There are lots of types of manjaws, and here I'll list a few:

1. The Melon Manjaw



This was one of the first manjaws I came across, and yes, it was on a make-up ad. This jaw is notorious - you can't miss it. The Melon Manjaw occurs when you have a large, rounded jaw that's about the same as, or wider than, the circumference of the rest of your face.

Have one? Want to cover it? Two words: long hair. Then you'll be covering the sides of your face, so no one will know that the width between your temples and the width of your jaw are the same, and all you have to worry about is the melon-esque quality of the visible jawline.

2. The Boxy Jaw 

Very similar to the Melon Manjaw, but less defined. More or less a normal jaw, but with the same boxy qualities of a manjaw. Very bad for those who are close to having a normal jaw, but are tragically stunted in the manjaw-less growth.

Again, long hair. Easy fit. Just don't pull your hair back from your face like the commercials.

3. The Flare `n Fit

This happens when you have a jaw that flares out just before the reasonably pointy chin. Very discouraging. Unfortunately, unlike the others, there's not much you can do to hide it, because by covering the "flare" of the Flare `n Fit, you still have the pointy chin.

And if you have one of the manjaws listed, or one of the other variations, don't take offense.

Really.

Don't.

It's not that you can help it, right?

After all, it was mainly aimed at those celebrities who don't seem to realize how square and manish their jaws are while they're walking the red carpet. And if they can afford to have so much chipped off their noses and other areas under the knife of Hollywood's greatest plastic surgeons, then I'm sure they can afford to have a little taken off that manjaw.

Anyway...

- your most erratic hero

(Fun Fact: For those who watch as much Say Yes to the Dress as I do, yes, the Flare `n Fit is a direct parody of the mermaid style, AKA the fit `n flare.)