"6 Things That Occur In Videos"

1. The Buddy Laugh

Most commonly, that scary guy who is holding the camera who breaks out in a loud, obnoxious guffaw at random times during a video that may or may not even be funny.

2. The Perfect Example

That person in the background, commonly off-camera, coaxing the main subject(s) of the video to do something stupid. Can also supply the Buddy Laugh.

3. The Faces

Usually when doing a web show, some or all of the people in the video must make odd faces in some sort of comic relief, even if the whole web show is supposed to be funny. Some faces come in the form of the Duck Face (see:"6 Stupid Things People Do In Pictures") or faces similar, such as bugging out eyes, crossing eyes, or sticking out tongue at random intermissions.

4. The Nervous Laugh

Commonly done by anyone in the video, on or off-camera, sometimes when something that someone isn't supposed to be doing is being filmed (ex. jumping off roof into waiting pool below), or, during web shows or videos in similar fashion, when the video's subjects realize that their humor is stale and try to encourage watchers to laugh with them. Similar to the Buddy Laugh - can be more or less obnoxious, depending on the video.

5. The Pets

This is when an animal (cat, dog, etc.) randomly walks by in the background. Commonly cats or small dogs who seemingly appear out of nowhere. Can also be noises off-camera (barking from another room, etc.)

6. "Bigfoot Returns"

When the camera-holder does everything in their power not to keep the camera still for unknown reasons. Most horrible when shooting with a low-resolution camera, or a cell phone with horrid quality. Videos most often have interesting titles, and angry commenters who all protest one thing: that they didn't actually see what happened in this oh-so-interesting video.

"Mail Diaries: Anthill"

Mail, mail, mail.

This morning, I walked out to put some stuff in the mailbox. Routine work. I went out, I came back. I sat down with my computer to blog this. Simple enough, simple enough. No reason to put to use my Osmosian skills again, or so I thought.

And here's what could have happened, shouldn't have happened, and maybe (maybe) did happen.

"Treat little people with respect!" is what I always say, being rather short myself. Unfortunately, I accidentally disobeyed my own rule. On the way back, I noticed that massive ant hill beneath the little tree in the front yard. Here I thought it was empty, antless, long-since evacuated (perhaps thanks to me and my tenancy to step on them). But it was there, and so was I, and it looked like such a perfect little opportunity.

So I stepped on it.

And I would have carried on about my business until the low, angry buzz of little voices reached my ears. It was familiar. Too familiar, to be honest. And then I realized exactly what it was I had possibly done, and most people probably would have run far, far away. Of course, I didn't.

To anyone familiar with the likes of Henry Pym, you'll know what alias he sometimes is in his free time. Ant-Man. And maybe, just maybe, I had destroyed his lab.

Not something to brag about. I know. But it's not wise to step in a live anthill. Partners in stopping crime or not, Ant Man got his comeuppance.

- your most erratic hero

(Fun Fact: Henry Pym has six aliases, including the Wasp. Not a good idea to take down any wasp nests without back-up.)